The Future


tsktsk, sondha is behind in the things she wants to write about. so in the spirit of all things shiny new, she will make a todo list (cuz all closet control-freaks love the list. all bow down before the power of the list…):

  1. sydney!
  2. photies from sonia’s party
  3. the bloody flu

and i greatly regret not taking photies at sam’s house! thanks for the love, laughter and lasagne, my darling! we love you much much, and this will soon be a common occurance, just you wait and see!

and mattiew! =P thanks for lending me your family for easter, and for washing my car forwith me! shiny car, much chocolate and people around me makes sondha a happy girlie.

and i <3 italian for dinner, second day in a row!

Sobering

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my ass… =) but just a warning ahead: this might be too much of an overshare.
I’m a tad worried about my internal state. I think I shocked alot of people by getting angry during physiol on wednesday, but then again the issue in question was shocking. I’m not going to even attempt to tackle that issue until a later date, simply because it incapacitates me with anger.

but internal state. I’m just having a whinge here cuz it’s the internet, but in the past month I have had:

  • mucho stomach problems. like severely.
  • severe reactions to anything that bites me. not good in midge season. itchy for days, bleeding and each swollen to at least the size of an australian 50cent. of which i currently have 12 in different locations on my body.
  • sick migranes
  • a 17 day flux, which has just started again (tmi, i know, but you were warned)
  • alternating bouts of extreme hunger, and nausea
  • a wrist so weak i can scarcely handle the plates at work
  • insane moods. insane.

so yes I’m worried. coupled with the medications that I’m on, and the things I need to do when I go home, the prognosis is not good. In fact, the only thing worse than this prognosis is the one for my exams. bah.

and everything is lost in a swirl of the river down by the river bend.

I feel like I’m in limbo. Stuck between what has happened, and not being able to wait for the future. It’s not like it’s particularly certain; home and security vs travel and adventure. Mix in the question of significant otherness. But to be anywhere but here and now. Not that there’s anything wrong with here and now, I’m just sick of being in this place/space, plodding.

Anyone who’s known me well in the past would know that I’m not really a plodder.That’s why I read. To escape to visit an alternate universe where the world is anything but plodding. Ditto travelling at high speeds across entire countries. There’s nothing really wrong with the plod per se, I’ve just not ever been a content-with-life kind of person

bah.

And then there is that niggling thing how I want to go to the mountains and just do nothing for a while. Maybe then i’ll plan my trek in life, if such a thing can be done, since I will not plod.